Why am I the person I am today, and where am I heading next?
Four years ago, when I was studying at a high school in Vancouver, I discovered the path I wanted to take. It was also the moment I saw a glimpse of the kind of person I wanted to become, and I remember how excited I felt imagining my future self. I had a clear idea of the world I wanted to be part of, but no confidence at all in whether I belonged there. Still, I was drawn to the creative field.
I grew up in a small countryside town in Japan until I was fifteen, spending most of my time watching Disney Channel shows and Hollywood movies. My older brother was obsessed with London’s pop culture, and through him I became fascinated by the creative energy of the city long before I ever set foot there. I wanted to step into the world behind the screens and the glossy magazine pages, not to be the one shining in front of the camera, but the one helping others shine. I wanted to become an art director. That’s why I decided to study at an art university in London.
When I told my parents and the adults I trusted about my dream, they didn’t support me at first and honestly, I understood why. At fourteen, I had left Japan for Canada, saying, “I want to speak English and live a life like in Disney Channel shows!” So when I later said, “Now I want to go to London to study art,” of course, they were surprised (and maybe a bit worried lol).
Around that time, my most respected teacher told me something that really stuck with me:
“Don’t give a shit what adults tell you. It’s boring anyway. Just listen to your own voice again and follow your gut. That’s what really matters — it’s your choice.”
When I looked back, I realized that even though I grew up in a town where Disney Channel or Cartoon Network wasn’t common, I was always watching those shows. Later I learned that my dad wanted me to see a wider world, and that’s why he let me watch foreign programs. While my classmates talked about local shows, I was the only one fascinated by overseas media, music, and magazines. Going to high school in Canada was one of the dreams that came true.
So what’s next? Following what truly inspires me, that’s what has guided me all along. I came to London from Japan with courage and intuition, believing that no matter the result, the process itself would become my strength.
Now, having completed two years at UAL and started my DPS year, I feel that things are going well. But at the same time, I’ve begun to see my ideal world and my real ability more objectively. The word “life” feels more realistic now, and sometimes anxiety outweighs excitement.
Still, when I reflect like this, I realize I want to make my younger self proud. I want to keep working hard for the person I used to be, and keep believing in the person I’ll become. That’s why, even if I sometimes feel that my current placement might not suit me perfectly, I believe it’s worth continuing a little longer.